Even though death is a part of life, the loss of our mother came too soon for me, despite the fact she was 96 years old. She was such a strong woman. She had a fierce will to live. She’d been through so much suffering in her life. Before I was born, she lost both of her sisters and her father. She had multiple surgeries -I lost count after a while. Her last surgery at age 93 was a major one that gave us a scare, but she pulled through. My brother once said that getting old is not for sissies. Clearly she was not a sissy. Our mom was quite the saver. Her motto was “I can always throw it away.” I can’t leave that little bit of ketchup or soap in the bottle without her voice in my head saying “ You missed some.” That’s probably why when we’d ask her what she’d want for a gift she’d always say a spatula so she could scrape her bowls clean. She loved to save money too. When I was young, I’d tag along for the grocery shopping and we didn’t stop at just one or two stores. We’d stop at numerous stores to get all the good deals. Luckily gas was cheap back then! Sometimes she’d crack open a box of ice cream bars (she called them paddle pops) and we’d eat them in the car on the way home. I remember every year for a while, my husband and children and I would go apple picking with my mom. She’d be satisfied with the deer apples because they didn’t cost as much. She wasn’t one to be wined and dined or to be given a bouquet of flowers. She didn’t want us to spend our money on her. Unless she was going somewhere, she was content with wearing the same sweaters full of holes that she mended and her shoes with the soles all duct taped together. Mom used the gifts God gave her. She had a beautiful soprano voice and sang for all of our weddings. The Ave Maria was her specialty. She always encouraged us to keep practicing the piano and to use our talents to make things instead of buying them. She inspired us to be crafty because of that. She saw the value of every little thing. I remember mom and I would take bike rides in Holy Cross Cemetery. It would bring her great joy to find ribbons in the cemetery garbage. Everything had a use and she collected it all. She even collected pets. We always had 4 dogs and multiple cats. When we lost one, she’d aquire another. Our mom had so many interests. She was certainly not boring. She was always busy learning new things like weaving beautiful place mats and rugs we will cherish forever, rosemaling, making root beer in the basement ( I can still remember the smell), wood working, sewing, jewelry making, canning, making currant jelly, making homemade fruit leather which was an amazing after school snack along with pears from the back yard tree she’d cut up for me, piano playing, tap dancing, knitting, recipe and joke collecting, baking, ( I think of her every time I make cowboy cookies) She had a houseful of plants and really had a green thumb. She could grow a 3 ft tall avocado plant starting from the pit. She loved to garden- picking raspberries was a summer tradition. One of her last endeavors was growing mushrooms in the basement. As she got older, Kings in the Corners, working puzzles and trivia games were her favorite past times. Mom could strike up a conversation with anyone and learn all about them. She could remember people’s names better than I can and wasn’t afraid to tell anyone exactly what she thought. Despite her honesty, she was well liked by many at Heritage ( probably because it was a memory care facility and they didn’t remember what mom said to them the day before). Every day was a new beginning. And here’s to your new beginning in heaven with all who have passed before you, mom. We love you and will miss you greatly and appreciate all that you have done for us.

Teri and I were sitting at mom’s bedside one day, after she had suffered the stroke. Teri had started writing down all the things that we learned from mom and all the things that she loved to do, all the things that made her the person that she was to us. The list was getting longer and longer. I would say, “How about this and how about that,” and “I remember when mom this and remember when mom that.” We decided that since my (and Mary Beth and John’s) memories of our mom are totally unknown to Teri. We were 15, 16 and 18 years old when Teri was born. So, here I am with part I of life with Agnes. Thinking back, I have to say that one of the most valuable things that mom taught us was the importance of a parish. Mom is a life-long MGC Parish member. I don’t believe she was baptized at Mother of Good Counsel but she did go to grade school there, made her First Confession, First Communion, and Confirmation there. She and my dad were married in the old Church. Mom was one of MGC’s 2nd Grade teachers for 6 years. All of us, her children, were baptized there, we all went to school at MGC, received all of our sacraments of initiation at MGC, we were all married at MGC, just like mom and dad. Only my oldest daughter was baptized at MGC but I believe most of mom’s other grandchildren were. Our family life revolved around our parish. Mom belonged to Christian Women (then called Christian Mothers – we loved their Mother/Daughter breakfasts following the 7:30 Mass. When I was small, mom would make me get up and sing “Lovely Lady Dressed in Blue” in front of everyone), she was always on the choir, (She would drag me along with the choir for Christmas Caroling and have me sing “Frosty and Snowman”), she sang for countless funerals and weddings, (I could sing Schubert’s Ave Maria when I was 6 years old because I would listen as she practiced.) Our school friends were also our neighborhood friends. We were quite the gang but, be sure to drop everything and head for home when you heard mom’s voice, “Ann Marie!!!!” which traveled for blocks! She organized and tended the Jewelry booth at the Holiday Fair. Our family, including Grandma and Grandpa, and all the parish kids had such fun that weekend every year. I believe it was a major fundraiser of Father Joe’s for building the new Church. Mom always volunteered to help at the annual Rummage Sale and used her musical talents whenever there was a production of the MGC Follies. Another thing Teri does not remember, because she wasn’t born yet, was the one season mom spent with the Florentine Opera Company. She was in their production of Madame Butterfly. Her voice was so lovely, and her appreciation and love for music was something she wanted for her kids also. We all had music lessons. First piano, in High School, at Pius High, Mary Beth and I played violin in the orchestra and John played clarinet. John also taught himself guitar and put a band together called “Orion”. He told us how mom loved the guys in his band. They would practice in the basement at our house and would come upstairs to visit with her. I remember her telling me I didn’t have to help with dinner dishes if I would practice piano. Pretty smart cookie, she was. Without her encouragement and insistence that I continue with piano lessons, I would never have had the most wonderful “JOB”, although I hate to call it a job because that sounds so ordinary. It was pure joy doing what I love and ministering to God’s people, helping them to worship and pray and celebrate the sacraments as the Director of Music and Liturgy first, at St. Martin of Tours in Franklin for 6 years and then at Queen of Apostles in Pewaukee for 15 years. I thanked mom many times for not giving in to my pleading to quit piano lessons. I thank her also, for her example of stewardship, giving her time and talent at MGC. Mom was like the Energizer Bunny. She never quit. She worked at St. Amelian’s Day Care Center until she was 84 years old. She would get up before dawn to open the facility for parents dropping their kids off on their way to work, she was responsible for the little ones’ lunch/snacks, cleaned up the kitchen and put them down for their naps. Mom tended her vegetable garden and her flower gardens and her fruit trees. She loved to see things alive and healthy and growing. It was very difficult and frustrating for her when she was no longer able to drive, when she started using a walker, when she could no longer get to church on Sunday, when she could no longer cook or bake, enjoy her yard, or do any of the hundreds of things she did when she was younger. Like, making our clothes (she made every formal dress I ever wore – homecoming, prom, etc. She darned our socks, she made complete wardrobes for every doll Mary Beth and I ever had, she crocheted, she knit – I don’t remember every having store-bought mittens. Mom canned the fruits and vegetables that she grew and made jellies from her currents and raspberries. She hated waste. She believed that wrapping paper was wasteful. Of course that was saved and reused. Our Christmas gifts were never wrapped. Instead, we each had a big bag with our name on it that held our Christmas gifts – she was ahead of her time with her giant gift bags! Mom recycled (before it was a thing), she collected and saved EVERYTHING! She remained in her home until it was no longer safe or healthy for her to be alone. She was 95 years old! For the last 10 months I’ve called her a “Lady of Leisure”. No more cooking, no more cleaning, no more washing dishes or washing clothes. She made new friends, loved to play trivia games and work puzzles, play card games and she continued to do crafts in the activities room with Lisa, the Activities Director, whom she loved. We were so happy with the help she received at Heritage. Mom had one of her kids with her every day of her life since she had her last surgery when she was 93. First, we helped her at her home but last July she moved to Heritage Senior Living in Pewaukee. On my “mom days”, I would often bring my grandson with me on a Saturday. Solomon called Great-grandma’s place “The Old Lady Hotel”. I said, “That is for sure, Solomon. It’s an all-inclusive resort!” Mom didn’t think that was funny. Not much fun being 96. I certainly admired her determination and her will. During this last Christmas time, our Parish Music Ministry Outreach group, made sure to get to Heritage Court to have one of our sing-a-longs. Guess who sang Schubert’s Ave Maria. Yup, one last time - Mom gave it her best shot! What a feisty lady she was! I take comfort in thinking she is now back together with our dad and with her family. I bet the first thing dad said was, “Ag, what the heck took you so long?!” I miss her. I thank God for giving me/us this time with her. She may have thought she couldn’t do very much anymore at the age of 96 but, she certainly continued to be my teacher, to the end of her life on earth. Now, she will be singing with the angels. How glorious will that be! She’ll, most likely, be teaching them a thing or two!

Please accept our deepest condolences for your family's loss.